A relaxing week in St Tropez had been marred only by the occasional guilty twang. While I was chilling on Tahiti Beach, I was aware that the rest of the team were attempting a 50 mile cycle ride – the longest so far.

Oh well… pass me another beer.

So, on my return, it was with complete awe that I learnt that (big) Jason, Lewis and David had not only completed 70 miles, but had done so against a gale force wind. They’d also bought themselves a new piece of kit each. Once again, I found myself falling behind the sterling efforts of the rest of the team. I was given the responsibility to plan the next training session. David reckoned it should be at least 50 miles. The man seems to have gone crazy. It must be all the Lucozade sport.

Sunday July 6th. Hythe Seafront. 8 a.m

Armed with my resplendent new hydration pack (I had no intention of falling behind in the gadget stakes), the rest of the team arrived. A gentle ride along the seafront, then up some fairly major hills. The South Downs are not quite Helvellyn, but try mentioning this to Big Jase, as he was working out whether or not could keep hold of his breakfast - the rest of us offering suitable words of encouragement, as you’d expect. This Kodak moment was followed shortly after with an opportunity for the Flatliners to be snapped alongside a Spitfire at Capel’s Battle of Britain Memorial. A perfectly engineered, finely tuned, expertly honed, aerodynamic flying machine. The plane wasn’t bad either. Then there was the odd fellow (Monty Python’s Eric Gumby ?) who we asked to take a group picture. You come across some really strange things cycling through the Kent countryside and, believe me, they don’t come much stranger than him.

Onwards and upwards, through England’s pleasant lands. Picture-book villages come and go. The miles start to add up. There is harmony amongst the team. Even my dodgy route planning and map reading can’t detract from the fact that the team is progressing nicely, nor can Lewis and David’s clash of bikes that leaves David momentarily tasting the tarmac.

Aside from the cycling, kayaking and hiking, all the team members have been putting in some hard gym time and it’s all starting to pay off. We might just make it at this rate - if David can just quench his insatiable search for the next buzz by speeding down the hills like a teenage thrill seeker (the replacing of alcohol with sugary energy-drinks is beginning to take a hold of him). One of these days, he’s going to come a real cropper…

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